


The meme couple driving off to the sunset, despise the romance being dead. (They promise.)

by KayleighMcCamyo



Series: Groupchats of One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer [16]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Crack, Daddy Kink, Dick Jokes, Fisting, Humor, M/M, Mashton, Multi, Pain Train, Polyamory, Sarcasm, Strong Language, Teasing, Texting, cliffoconda, crackfic, dirty talking, groupchats, handjobs, larry stylinson - Freeform, ziam, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5723224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleighMcCamyo/pseuds/KayleighMcCamyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis: can yall stop typing in caps i am recovering from my orgasm and can't read  this loud</p><p>Liam: I-</p><p>Calum: I’m moving out.</p><p>Luke: I don't understand what is going on but im loving it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The meme couple driving off to the sunset, despise the romance being dead. (They promise.)

Liam started a groupchat. He’s invited Luke, Michael, Ash, Calum, Zayn, Niall, Harry and Louis.

 

 **Liam** : CAN Y’ALL STOP THE FUCKING BANGING?!

 **Harry** : that's a synonym Li

 **Liam** : LITERALLY STYLES-TOMLINSON  FUCK MY BALLS

 **Louis** : haha

 **Zayn** : Louis, I told you to have the talk with Liam five years ago, look at him now, he soent even know how sex works.

 **Louis** : You think you and I should teach him a lesson?

 **Ash** : Michael, im getting lube and camera, you catch Niall. Meet me in the zouis room.

 **Michael** : yes captain, but which one is zouis room?

 **Calum** : Harry’s room.

 **Calum** : …

 **Calum** : …

 **Calum** : …

 **Calum** : I can't believe i still am in this band.

 **Liam** : SOMEONE FUCKING STOP THEM

 **Zayn** : I am such a nice sexgod.

 **Harry** : Zee don't be rude.

 **Calum** : WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO RUDE PEOPLE?!

 **Zayn** : haha

 **Louis** : they fucked him well.

 **Ash** : Who?

 **Michael** : How many times?

 **Louis** : priorities.

 **Zayn** : I am so proud.

 **Calum** : I’m moving out.

 **Louis** : Zayn i’ve got some leftover lube here wanna hang out?

 **Calum** : I AM MOVING OUT!!!

 **Ash** : i’M MOVING IN!!!

 **Harry** : please can i eat you out

 **Zayn** : yes

 **Louis** : yes

 **Ashton** : yes

 **Michael** : yes

 **Liam** : I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE PERSON IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE

 **Liam** : ASIDE OF NIALL

 **Liam** : AND LUKE, WHEN HE'S NTO TALKING ABOUT GETTING FUCKED, OR WHEN I DON'T HEAR HIM MOANING RIGHT NEXT DOOR

 **Liam** : AND HE IS RIGHT NOW MOANING NEXT DOOR

 **Calum** : wait.

 **Zayn** : I am such a nice sexgod.

 **Ashton** : im not the one banging him.

 **Michael** : Neither am i.

 **Ashton** : If I'm not fucking him… and you‘re not fucking him…

 **Michael** : WHO THE FUCK IS DRIVING THE CAR

 **Zayn** : the meme couple.

 **Louis** : I'm so proud.

 **Liam** : no but really. Who the hell is fucking him? It's not me, Zayn, ash, mike or cal.

 **Zayn** : This is golden.

 **Louis** : Harry is sucking my dick, it's not him either.

 **Liam** : OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE FUCK YOU

 **Louis** : you might as well, liam.

 **Zayn** : Ill be rigth there mate.

 **Calum** : And they say romance is dead.

 **Ash** : Well the chemical one is.

 **Michael** : LITERALLY SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH FLETCHER CHLAMYDIA LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP I FUCKNG TRUSTED YOU AND YOU FNAT FUCKING MENTON MICY FHIEMCAL ROMANCE AND XPANCK TM E TO EBE OKAY?!?!?!

 **Calum** : He promises.

 **Liam** : you guys are awesome. Why my band can't be this awesome?

 **Zayn** : You don't have a band.

 **Harry** : The gods decided you are out of the band.

 **Liam** : me?

 **Calum** : THAT WAS RUDE THAT WAS FUCKING RUDE THE GODS ARE BEING RUDE MICHAEL THEY ARE BEING RUDE TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENS TO RUDE PEOPLE

 **Michael** : no calum im not telling you what happens to rude people

 **Liam** : ME?!?!

 **Zayn** : I have decided much to my liking. You missed our fisting session.

 **Calum** : fuck you mike

 **Liam** : M E ?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!? LITERALLY WHATIM NOT JOING ANY FISTING SESSION

 **Michael** : anytime, cal.

 **Harry** : you can't be in the band if you miss the fisting session

 **Liam** : STYLES-TOMLINSON, KEEP SUCKING YOUR HUSBANDS DICK AND LEAVE THIS TO THE MEN OF THIS FAMILY

 **Calum** : Show them, hubby.

 **Michael** : this is golden.

 **Louis** : I know right.

 **Liam** : LITERALLY I'm THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING TAKS CARE OF YOU SERIOSULY I'm THE ONLY REASON YOU RE NTO DEAD YET I FUCKING FEED YOU I PUT YALL TO SLEEP I'm DOING THE DISHES I DO FUCKING EVERYTHIGN IN THS FUCKING FAMILY

 **Ash** : awww, I always knew we are family.

 **Liam** : I AND YALL FUCKING JUST DECIDE TO THROW THE ONLY USEFULL MEMBER OF THIS FUCKING BAND  AWAY LIKE A PIEECE OF A FUCKING TRASH!?!

 **Louis** : oh fuck Liam yell something again Harry find it funny and he giggles around my dick oh my god am i in heaven

 **Liam** : I-

 **Ash** : wow.

 **Calum** : TOMLINSON SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW THIS DISTURBES LIAM

 **Liam** : AND CALUM

 **Michael** : you both are pussies.

 **Ash** : you are my fav husband.

 **Michael** : i am the rarest punkrock dragon witht he ability to temporary die u rude bastard

 **Ash** : aww, sorry kitten, do you want me to fuck it better?

 **Liam** : i am literally leaving.

 **Zayn** : keep your cock here, the rest of you can go whenever it pleases.

 **Michael** : this groupchat is a fucking mess.

 **Ash** : yet we still haven't figured out who is banging luke.

 **Louis** : Sorry i was orgasming what did I miss?

 **Calum** : mashton got married.

 **Louis** : AH HELL WHAT A SHAME

 **Harry** : CAN I SEE THE RINGS?

 **Liam** : …I-

 **Zayn** : I'm surrounded by idiots.

 **Liam** : literally i-

 **Luke** joined the groupchat.

 **Luke** : sorry guys i was getting fucked in the ass what did i miss?

 **Ash** : HEY DON'T FUCKING SWEAR

 **Liam** : LUKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE A BABY YOU DNAT TALK ILKE THSI

 **Calum** : IT DISTURBES CALUM

 **Liam** : AND LIAM

 **Zayn** : i have no idea what's going on but im loving every second of this.

 **Michael** : You are such a nice sexgod.

 **Louis** : can yall stop typing in caps i am recovering from my orgasm and can't read  this loud

 **Liam** : I-

 **Calum** : I’m moving out.

 **Luke** : I don't understand what is going on but im loving it.

 **Zayn** : same.

 **Michael** : I though only me cal and ash can fuck you, luke

 **Calum** : i don't fuck any of you

 **Luke** : what? Like i literally was makign a sextape yesterday of you giving blowjob to michael

 **Calum** : i never fucked any of you

 **Michael** : you literally were riding Lukes dick this morning

 **Calum** : Ive never even seen any of your dicks hard

 **Ash** : you were giving me handjob like half an hour ago

 **Zayn** : shh guys, he's in denial

 **Liam** : I don't understand how you can not be proud of who you are and whom you have sexual relationship with. Be true to yourself. It's okay. Were not gonna judge you, we are all your friends. If you like someone, be proud of it and do all the dirty things with them you want, the onyl important thing is content.

 **Calum** : …

 **Zayn** : … Liam…

 **Michael** : …I-

 **Luke** : …Liam are you sure

 **Ash** : Liam baby are you serious

 **Louis** : shhhhhhh, he’s in denial

 **Ash** : what?

 **Louis** : his mind is playing tricks at him

 **Calum** : why does this sound like déja vu

 **Michael** : what

 **Louis** : if you ask him, hell tell you he's straight and has a girlfriend.

 **Luke** : he doesn't have a girlfriend.

 **Ash** : He's not straight. 

 **Louis** : shhh. He’s in denial.

 **Calum** : Zayn… Zayn how do you deal with this shit. How. Tell me.

 **Zayn** : the same as I do with tumblr

 **Calum** : and that's?

 **Zayn** : I don't.

 **Calum** : …

 **Zayn** : I just… let it… happening.

 **Calum** : …

 **Zayn** : Much to my liking.

 **Calum** : ….

 **Zayn** : I’m such a nice sexgod.

 **Calum** : … I’m moving the fuck out.

 **Liam** : NO CALUN DON'T YOU ARE THE ONYL REASON IM STLL SANE!!!

 **Luke** : you call your condition „sane“?!?!!

 **Michael** : I-

 **Louis** : Shhhhhhhhh

 **Louis** : He's in denial.

 **Louis** : And he's not in the band, anymore, anyway.

 **Liam** : FUCK YOU

 **Zayn** : I-

 **Liam** : FUCK YOU

 **Harry** : Hey gu-

 **Liam** : FUCK YOU

 **Calum** : what

 **Liam** : you’re cool

 **Luke** : Literally you don't even wanna know who fucked me?

 **Liam** : AND FUCK YOU I'm OUT!

 

**Liam left the groupchat.**

**Author's Note:**

> I-


End file.
